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Joyous_Cow
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Name: Zachary Smith
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Philadelphia
Birthday: 8/17/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Track and cross-country, playing my beautfiul guitar named Baxter, singing, writing music and lyrics and bad poetry and decent prose, having long, deep conversations, leading worship,
Expertise: My expertise? Well, I recorded a CD, and that took some talent, I guess. I have to acknowledge my friends, however, who contributed to the album. I'm told I tell stories well - that's because I forget not to make a fool of myself and I get WAY too into it. Oh, and I run pretty fast if I train and my fibula isn't broken. :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Yahoo:  joyous_cow
Member Since:
7/1/2005
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In one sense, when it really comes down to it, I desperately want to love God with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind, and with all my strength.
And in another sense, instead of loving him first and most, I'd much rather love him second and mostly.
I finally decided what to put on this "who are you?" postcard I'm supposed to wax eloquent on for a community art project:
"i live in tension."
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| I have a cracked rib. It's the result of a football tackle that involved myself and one Erik Wolfe moving at very high, very opposite velocities, with the main force of the impact delivered by his left shoulder and absorbed by my second rib on the right side. Erik's explanation ("I am a house, man") doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever and leads me to believe he has some unassuaged guilt about the whole episode. Also, Psalm 127 describes how vain it is for us to "eat the bread of sorrows." I took this to heart recently and decided that for me, any and all internet-based discussions about the existence of God, the veracity of the Bible, and the theology or practice of the Christian faith are bread of sorrows to me, and I will no longer be reading or taking part in them. They cause me to weep and tear my hair out. I seriously do not want to talk about it. On the internets. Maybe in real life. On a related note, you will all probably have better lives if you watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtwDTXlRY8M . That is all. | | |
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I've been watching and waiting for weeks and weeks now, and a minute ago I finally bore witness to the inbox size counter at www.gmail.com ticking over from 3999 to 4000MB. Gmail officially has 4GB of storage space per user - four times as much as when they started way back in 2004.
I don't know what any of this means - create your own meanings.
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I am repeatedly surprised at the places I end up in these days: Philadelphia, New York, Boston, Nashville, Montreal, and, most recently, Boone, North Carolina. These cities are all as utterly foreign to me as my hometown is to the average American, and I'm finding that each place I've been to has contained a unique lesson, or attitude, or mindset that I may absorb while there.
Tonight, we had dinner with some of Josh's extended family. Shrimp boil and barbecued ribs. It was a feast. It was heavenly. I had to lie down. Also there was one of the neighbours and her dog Elsa - a very shy and skittish German shepherd that she'd taken in as a stray a few years before. After the meal was over, I called her over to me and let her sniff my hand before I started petting her. She sat down next to me and whenever I stopped, she'd paw at me until I gave her some attention again. Her owner, Vicky, was surprised and said that Elsa doesn't let anybody pet her unless Vicky's specifically told her they're an "ok person." And she said that Elsa only likes people with good hearts, and gentle hearts, and I must have one.
I was a little struck by this because if that is any kind of indicator, I've actually always been good at getting normally shy animals (and even people, I guess) to trust me. But at the same time, I don't think that the last two years or so at Penn have been making me more into a person with a good and gentle heart. I feel like I've gotten harder and sharper, less trusting and less trustworthy, less concerned with being gentle and more concerned with experiencing intensity. So as I sat there scratching Elsa behind the ears, I was very deeply touched by her innocent trust and felt a little unworthy.
It only occurs to me now that I really truly want to be someone with a good and gentle heart. I don't want to be the logical extension of many of the changes that are happening in me. So this means that something needs to change, a shift needs to take place in my heart, and this means I need to talk to God while I'm here in Boone, North Carolina.
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| i have come to believe that the
following statements are true
(but i am open to
discussion)
given too much credence, or
insufficient critique, nearly every belief may become an
enslavement
the myth of redemptive violence may be
our most serious fault
human beings are ceaselessly
self-deceiving
pure altruism is
fantasy
there is a
God
true love is a
reality
the sincere pursuit of truth is never
unrewarded
the most fundamental and noble of all the
virtues is empathy
violence, by definition, is
un-creative. therefore the opposite of war is not pacifism, but
creativity
choice is the only mechanism for
creating meaning
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